Looking Into the Eyes of Poverty

I looked into the eyes of poverty yesterday, and I wish all of those who believe in cutting the safety net programs in this country had been with me.  Please don't go all defensive on me.  I know there are a lot of people who cheat and take advantage of social programs; but, what we need to do, in my opinion, is tighten up our accountability so that these people are not allowed to receive help.  We should not cut the help to those who really need it to survive.

That said, after I got my grandson off the bus yesterday afternoon and his mother came home from work, I went to a local Urgent Care because I realized my cold had turned into a sinus infection, and I didn't want to wait until morning to make an appointment with my doctor.  The Urgent Care didn't open until 5:00, and I arrived at 4:20, so I grabbed a magazine and sat down.  A man came in and sat nearby, and I started a conversation.

We ended up talking for almost an hour, as we waited, and my heart broke as I listened to him.  He is in his mid-sixties, living in subsidized housing, on Medicare and Medicaid, and suffering from COPD.  He is alone, with a little parakeet for company.  He arrived early because the Medicab he called could not bring him at 5:00.  Because he is on Medicaid, the primary care doctors associated with this Urgent Care will not accept him as a patient.  He relies on the ER or Urgent Care for his healthcare needs. 

He is sick and confused about his diagnosis.  The doctors told him he has COPD and some lesions in his lungs -- he is worried that he has cancer, but either did not understand what the doctors told him, or was not told.  He lives in a tiny apartment in our town that costs $645/month and is happy here, but must move to an apartment in the city that is cheaper.  He is worried about moving his parakeet in a cab in cold weather, and really does not want to move back to the city.  He has significant back pain, for which he has been given pain medications, but he worries.

How sad to be old, sick, alone, and poor.  I have no idea what his history is, but I know what his situation is now, and it breaks my heart.  I heard empathy in his words and also regrets, and as I looked into his eyes, I thought, how can we justify destroying the safety net for people like him.  As Congress argues over budget issues, I wish each one of them could look into this man's eyes and realize that for each person who commits welfare fraud, there are several others who are hanging by their fingernails.  What should we do?  Cast out these poor people or offer them a measure of help? 

I hope, as budget negotiations proceed (if they ever really do), the members of Congress who so ardently profess to be Christians will remember the words of Christ:

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me"  --  Matthew 25:40

A Society of the Inept

I sit in my chair this morning, snuggled in my warm robe and a warm shawl, holding my coffee mug in my hands for warmth.  I am cold, and I also have a cold which is in its earliest stages of sneezing, teary eyes, and achy sinuses.  Not an auspicious beginning to this Sunday.  My cozy old house is freezing; the only heat source today is an electric radiator.  I have not had a working furnace since August.  At the end of July, our antique furnace finally "cracked", seeping natural gas, so we discovered a new furnace was necessary.  This was not unexpected -- and part of me was glad that we would replace it with a more energy-efficient product, so my astronomical natural gas bill would be lower.  However, on our limited income, the cost of a new furnace would be prohibitive, so I applied for a NYSERDA program which provides subsidies to help finance the cost of energy-efficient improvements.

This process has been a long one -- begun in early August, and due to either ineptitude or negligence on the part of the contractor, has delayed the installation of my furnace until now.  I won't go into the particulars, but in order to participate in the NYSERDA program, you must use one of their specified contractors, and apparently I chose the wrong one.  The process requires an energy audit, a proposal from the contractor, and approval from NYSERDA.  I first spoke with our contractor in mid-August; he never performed the audit until early September, then delayed submitting the proposal so long that it wasn't approved until mid-October.  Finally, last Thursday they arrived with my new furnace, BUT, the estimator had provided scant information, so a great deal of time was lost in the installation, and consequently, on this coldest weekend of October, our house is still stone cold. 

For the past couple of weeks, I have also been frustrated by the customer service at insurance companies.  My husband's Medicare Advantage policy is not covering his MS medication next year; I talked to a representative from the company.  She said we could apply for an exception, which may or may not be granted.  The doctor's office tells me they cannot apply for the exception until after January 1, when the medication is no longer covered, but the deadline to change Medicare policies is mid-December.  So, I am still not certain where we stand on this -- and can't seem to get a straight answer from anyone.

I have also been comparing the policies on the NY Health Exchange, with frustrating calls to the two insurance companies I prefer.  One of the companies told me my doctor was participating; my doctor's office said they were not.  I also had a question about the deductible on one policy -- the representative gave me conflicting information on whether an expensive procedure I need is subject to the deductible.  I called my doctor's office and received rude treatment from the billing office when I asked them to clarify this for me.  I finally made my decision and submitted my application, but still with lingering questions.

These are only the two most recent examples of ineptitude that have disturbed me.  In the last few years we ran our business, and through the process of closing the business down, I was met with constant frustration as I dealt with phone menus that never allowed you to speak with a human, or customer service reps who contradicted themselves, or did not follow through on issues.  Through this process, I also lost all respect for the attorneys I dealt with.

Even on a more minor scale, when ordering fast-food at the counter or the drive-thru, mistakes are made more than half the time. 

What is the problem?  I think it is two-fold.  I believe people are placed in positions for which they lack the intelligence and motivation to perform adequately.  I believe training is substandard in many businesses.  And, sadly, I think our world has become too complicated and too regimented.  Thirty years ago, I could walk into my bank, speak to the manager (who was not moved from branch to branch every few weeks), and resolve any issue quickly.  Now, this personal service does not exist, for the most part.

So, my rant ends here.  My coffee cup is empty, the day ahead is busy, and once again tonight I will sleep in my cold bed, wrapped in a soft throw and snuggled under a sheet, a light blanket, two quilts, and a lovely old afghan I made years ago and threw on top of the bed last night for one extra layer of warmth.  Hopefully tomorrow they will finish my furnace!!!

October Musings

October is a month of transition.  Our world transforms from the heat, sunshine, and abundant harvests of summer to the more gentle beauty of pumpkins, chrysanthemums and falling leaves.  I have always loved the colors of autumn, which last such a short time before the starkness of November is upon us.

My weekends have been full this autumn -- a family gathering at a cousin's lovely home on Helderberg Lake, trips with the grandchildren to gaily decorated farmstands, an afternoon in Saratoga with a dear cousin.  Finally, this weekend is a quiet one -- a time when I can catch my breath, putter in the house and garden, and reminisce a bit.

Halloween decorations are abundant in our neighborhoods now, and I am reminded of the days when my children were young and I devoted so much time to making their holiday special.  We decorated the porch with pumpkins, cornstalks, and a skeleton or two.  I baked pumpkin cookies for school parties, planned parties for our Cub Scouts and Brownie Troops, and sewed costumes. I marvel at the energy I had all those years ago.

Now, my celebrations are of a quieter nature.  I look forward to the church bazaars and estate sales that abound.  I have traded the decorations of Halloween for lovely autumn arrangements inside the house.  I cut my bounty of summer herbs -- parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, marjoram, basil -- and hang them in my kitchen window to dry.  I savor the falling leaves and the crackling noise they make as I walk along.  Today they were falling quietly all day -- carpeting my yard with their beauty. 

My years of boundless energy and strength are in the past -- I am in the autumn of my life.  But, this, too, is a beautiful time.  While my days are very busy caring for my grandchildren, at the end of the day, I can enjoy a glass of wine, a tasty supper, and a quiet evening.  My weekend pursuits are simple ones -- afternoons with friends, cooking, reading, writing, puttering in the house or the garden.  I am finding this "autumn" season of life every bit as beautiful as the days of October.

Random Thoughts While Simmering

On this official first day of autumn, I stood at the kitchen counter mixing meatballs and forming them in my hands, chopping onions and garlic, snipping herbs, adding crushed tomatoes to the sauteed seasonings, and stirring the rich sauce slowly as it began to simmer gently on the stove -- mindless tasks, which lend themselves to quiet reflection.  I thought I would share some of the random thoughts which passed through my mind as my hands prepared our Sunday supper.

No matter how deeply you love someone, you can’t make them love you if they don’t.

Think before you speak – hurtful words may be forgiven, but they will always be remembered by the person you hurt.

Be quick to forgive, but don’t feel guilty if you can’t forget. 

Children are our future -- more than anything else, they need our love, our attention, and our guidance.  Material things cannot begin to take the place of a parent's consistent presence.

Everyone looks at the world from a different perspective and interprets things differently, based on his own life experiences.   Don't ever presume to know what another is thinking. 

Life isn’t fair – there is a cute little quote that says if we all took our problems and put them in a basket, we would take our own problems back, or something like that.  I don’t believe it.  Everyone has problems, but some people seem to have many more than their share. 

Everyone handles grief and loss in a different way – don’t be judgmental of others as they grieve.  Listen to them and be kind, and remember that we never completely "get over" the loss of loved ones.  The grief just finds its way to a quiet little place in our hearts where it resides forever.

Try to treat everyone with kindness and respect.  Life is sometimes a circle, and the people we thought we would never see again come back into our lives at some point.  Better they remember us for our kindness than our antagonism. 

Sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time, and there is nothing we can do about it.  We must resign ourselves to holding them in our hearts instead of our arms.

No matter how strong your opinion is on an issue, always be willing to listen to the views of others – this is how we evolve as individuals, and is the basis for compromise in the larger world.

When the stresses and pain of life engulf you, let the rhythms of nature soothe you -- sit by the water, sniff the flowers, listen to the birds, walk along the shoreline, find peace in the gentle rustling of the tall pines --

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Week of Nostalgia

 

Finally tonight I have some quiet hours to sit and ponder the busy week that has passed so quickly.  As the Labor Day Weekend brought summer to an end, my calendar seemed suddenly filled.  While our school district does not begin classes until this coming Monday, my daughter-in-law, who is a teacher, worked on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I had all three of my little ones together again for two full days.  So many memories stirred as I watched them together.  I have taken care of them since Alivia was two months old; now she is six and entering first grade, and Luke will begin kindergarten next week.  Emma -- who was just an infant a heartbeat ago -- is now 2-1/2, and a beautiful little dynamo.  How quickly the time has passed, and how thankful I am that I chose to spend my days with them.  It will be with tear-filled eyes that I send Liv and Luke off to school on Monday and bring my little Emma back to my house. 

On Thursday I attended a funeral for a cousin whom I have met only a few times.  She was so friendly and kind, and I always intended to get together with her, so I could know her better.  And now, she is gone -- I bid her good-bye at her lovely funeral mass, and was filled with regret.  Life is busy and crazy much of the time, and so often we neglect the more distant members of our families, only to feel excruciating sadness as we lose them and realize that we never really took the time to know them. 

On a much happier note, I gathered with several former high school classmates for a "mini-reunion;" it has been forty-five years since we graduated together.  Unbelievable!!  What an enjoyable evening it was.  I was talking recently with friends about our desire as we grow older to reconnect with the friends of our youth.  As I sat at this reunion, thoroughly enjoying the people and the conversations, I realized the bond of memories we all shared.  As we age, we lose grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins -- so many of the people who remember us as a child.  There are fewer people who share our early memories of our school, our town, ourselves. 

This reunion gave us a chance, not only to discover the roads where life has taken each of us, but also to remember and share our impressions of our earlier lives. We remember the same teachers, the music, the gossip. We remind each other of who we were then.  It is a beautiful thing to reconnect not only with these people, but with our shared memories.  We look at each others' aging faces and see in our hearts younger, hopeful faces.  And I am reminded of a lyric from a beautiful country song,

"To me, you will always be eighteen, and beautiful, and dancing away with my heart..."

 

Is There a "Voice of Reason"?

It seems as if the word "compromise" has disappeared from our lives.  It seems as if the words "tolerance," "moderation," and "forgiveness" are also in short supply.  Fueled by "Hate TV" and slanted journalism, it is difficult to sort out the problems facing our country -- much less the solutions required to fix these problems.

This summer I have listened to many conversations at gatherings of friends and family.  Much of the time, people speak their minds on politics, religion, issues of the day, but never listen to the responses of others.  Or, they belittle the beliefs and ideas of others.  We are bombarded on a daily basis by left and right-leaning TV news stations, talk radio, and internet news and propaganda.  It is often difficult to discern the kernel of truth in this abundance of information.

It seems politicians will go to any length to undermine the opposing party.  I truly believe at this moment, some segments of the Republican Party would prefer to see the economy crash again, just to prove that President Obama was wrong in his attempts to stabilize the economy.  Why is it that in the past few years, each party seems vehemently opposed to any legislation proposed by the other party?  Why is there no compromise anymore.  Where are the "cooler heads" who used to work diligently to bring the ideas of each party together to craft legislation that benefited the people of this great nation.  Now, each side is intent on "winning" as opposed to "governing."

Also, the underlying racism in our country sickens me.  It is not just a case of black and white; there is a pervasive distrust and dislike of almost anyone who is not a white, Christian citizen.  This is disturbing.  Our nation was built by immigrants, and today a new generation of immigrants of many colors, races and creeds contributes to our culture and economy.  Why do we hate anyone who is different from us?  Diversity enhances our lives.

It seems as if almost everyone I listen to has "drawn a line in the sand" over every major issue in our country -- gun control, abortion, gay marriage.  Why must it be this way?  Can't we agree to disagree on some issues.  We live in a democracy where the majority rules.  Can't we gracefully accept when we lose the battle over an issue?  When I was young, I was strongly opposed to abortion, and even now, I find it disturbing.  However, the majority of people in this nation consider this one of women's basic rights -- I accept this and support it; who am I to argue that my beliefs hold more political clout than those of the majority? 

We live in a society where greed and power rule.  The middle class is disappearing; the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.  This is not "class warfare", it is the reality of our lives today.  And yet, in order to win an election, politicians must raise huge amounts of money for their campaigns -- and much of this money comes from the corporations whose greed and power will at least partially control the politicians' decisions. 

However, as our lawmakers cater to the rich and powerful, many of the problems in our economy are blamed on the poor -- those who need the "handouts" and "entitlements" -- those who cannot afford to house, feed and clothe their families and pay for healthcare on the low wages they receive for their labor. 

We need those "cool heads" and those "voices of reason" today -- they are critical to saving our nation.  We need people who will put the good of the nation above their own desire for political power.  Our problems are complex; there is a huge schism between those who lean to the left and those to the right.  The "line in the sand" becomes deeper and more difficult to surmount as we listen to the heated rhetoric in the media. 

We need good ideas from both sides of the aisle in Congress; we need cooperation between the executive and legislative branches of government at all levels.  Let us all hope that a strong voice of reason steps forward and prevails, so our great nation can be saved. 

As August Settles In

As I walked the dog at midnight, the heavy darkness of an August evening was backlit by lovely moonlight filtered through high clouds.  The tall pine branches cast shadows across the moon, and the deep quiet reminded me that August is definitely here. 

This summer has been a disappointing one for me.  Hot, humid weather in July and a knee injury have kept me sidelined from my usual summer activities.  The garden desperately needs weeding; plans for daily walks with my little granddaughter never materialized, and I feel a bit of sadness to know that there are only three weeks left until school begins. 

However, I do so love August.  The early morning birdsong is subdued now, and darkness falls quickly and thickly in the evening as I sit on the porch.  My hydrangea bushes are heavy with their voluptuous blooms and the pepper and tomato plants are ripe on the vine.  Fields of sunflowers, purple loosestrife and goldenrod dot the highways.  It seems the world is filled with color and abundance.

There are early harbingers of autumn, though, as the ferns begin to turn a bit brown, stores are filled with notebooks, pencils, and back-to-school sales, and summer flowers begin to fade.  The carefree feeling of June -- with two months of sunshine and freedom ahead -- are now but a memory.  Suddenly, we must resign ourselves to the fact that summer is waning.  We plan get-aways and try to squeeze in all of the summer activities we can.  Soon we will be back to schedules and sweaters.


There is a peacefulness in these languid August days.  The excitement of early summer is replaced with a more quiet enjoyment.  Even though I have not accomplished many of my summer plans, and still cannot take Alivia for morning walks on the nearby rail trail as we had planned, I am content to savor the beauty of this month.  I see August not as an ending, but as a beginning -- autumn holds its own special pleasures, and as August wanes, September hurries in.

 

 

After a taste of cooler weather for the past week, the summer-lovers are happy to hear that warmer temperatures are returning.  There is still time for picnics, swimming, boating, camping, and all of the much-loved activities of summer.  The farmers' markets are filled with fresh vegetables for salads and grilling.  What can possibly taste better than a slice of fresh tomato topped with a bit of salt and some chopped basil leaves.  As steaks sizzle on the grill, we can sit on our decks and porches and savor these last weeks of summer pleasures.  But, as the gentle twilight of early summer changes to the earlier settling of heavy, quiet darkness in mid-August, we know in our hearts that autumn is waiting patiently in the wings -- carpe diem!!