Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Waiting Year

This year has been one of "waiting" -- waiting to see if we would be able to save my beloved house and our car as the bankruptcy process unfolded slowly, waiting to file the necessary taxes and paperwork to dissolve our business, waiting for Emma to be born, to smile, to crawl, to become a little person, waiting for snow.  Slowly, the waiting has progressed, and now we seem to be at the end of our financial uncertainty.  Emma has made all the milestones and is on the verge of walking -- her precious little smile and determination are a joy to watch. 

But, I am still waiting for snow.  This winter has known a dearth of snow that leaves me, the birds, and the gardens a bit confused as to what season it really is.  We have had none of the deep cold of winter, and the very few snowy mornings have gifted us with only an inch or so, which often has melted by afternoon.  I miss the snow!!  I love the change of seasons, and this year it seems that we have had one very long autumn, and now spring.  The birds are singing outside my window, staking out their territory, and I am wishing the landscape instead was a blanket of white with frosty air.

Of course, my sensible side realizes that this snowless winter has made my life easier -- delivering my two little grandchildren to preschool each morning with robust little Emma in my arms would have been much tougher with snow and ice underfoot.  But, my sensual side is still longing for at least one heavy snowfall before spring.

The coming week is February vacation -- Luke and Emma will be home with their Mom, and I will have Alivia for four days only, so this will be a vacation of sorts for me, too.  Of course, Alivia and I have many plans -- she wants to go to the library, invite her Nanny to a tea party which we will enjoy preparing, and browse through her baby pictures.  She also wants to spend part of the week at her house, since most days we are at Luke and Emma's.  Though our schedule sounds a bit daunting, it won't be as tiring as my weeks with all three little ones (at least I hope not).

And today my plan is for peaceful activities -- I will linger over my Sunday newspaper, shop for groceries, perhaps enjoy a trip to the library, spend some time feeding the birds and checking to see if my snowdrops are making an early appearance this year.  Slowly, I am beginning to relax from this year of waiting.  I can once again enjoy my beautiful home without the threat of losing it.  While our income is severely curtailed now, there is a freedom of sorts in living a more austere lifestyle.  In my heart I have always preferred a simple life, and without the constant pressures and endless paperwork of running a business, I can enjoy the simple pleasures that are my bliss.

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